This outrage must not stand.
According to Vegas Insider, National Collegiate Athletic Association fans voted The Oregon Duck the third sexiest mascot in all of college basketball.
And yes, before you come at me, The Duck is not named Puddles. He is simply, officially and deeply uncreatively named, “The Duck.”
I don’t have a problem with The Duck, though I would suggest giving him a name, but sexy? No.
Goofy for sure. And I love the cravat situation. But let’s not get carried away.
The Duck is sexy in the same way Seth Rogen is sexy, in that, well, that’s not really his thing. But he does make me laugh!
Of course, naming The Duck third on this list is only the beginning of the problems here.
In first place is Blue Devil, which is at least a humanoid sort of bad-boy-type character, I guess? Still, the beard. Come on. The economy may be crashing but it’s not 2008, guys.
So, the Blue Devil getting 5% of the vote is a little suspicious but even more suspicious, the absolute absence of Benny Beaver in the top 10.
Where is Benny? What have you done with Oregon’s best and definitely sexiest college mascot?
And look, I have no major allegiance to any former Pac-10 school. I was born in Eugene, lived in Pullman for second and part of third grade, spent the rest of my childhood in Corvallis and went to the University of Washington my freshman year of college.
I support all of these schools! But take a look at Benny (who has a real name by the way) and The Duck (eye roll) side-by-side and you tell me who is sexier?
The Oregon Duck and Benny the Beaver wander the halls of the Oregon Capitol in Salem on Feb. 8, 2024 for university day at the statehouse.Sami Edge
Which of these furry animal costumes is Seth Rogen and which is Dave Franco?
Let’s be perfectly honest. I do like to laugh. And too much overt sexiness gets old. No one wants to sit at home while their significant other lifts for five hours and then refuses to eat a carb with dinner.
So if we were talking about marriage, I would absolutely pick The Duck over Benny. But the poll didn’t ask who Lizzy Acker would rather marry, did it? It asked who was the sexiest college basketball mascot.
At the very least, Benny Beaver could have ranked over Brutus Buckeye, an anthropomorphic buckeye nut who dresses like an inmate at Ronald McDonald State Prison.
Justice for Benny.
– Lizzy Acker covers life and culture and writes the advice column Why Tho? Reach her at 503-221-8052, lacker@oregonian.com.
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