Here’s a list of what every NHL team needs under their tree.
Penguins- A trading partner (fool) to take Ryan Graves off their hands and a complete reconciliation with their deity Mario Lemieux
Philly – Coal, their always on Santa’s naughty list Rangers- A Captain
Islanders- A gold watch to give to Lou Lamoriello for his retirement
Devils- Tin Foil Hats for all the UFO/Drone conspiracy theories in NJ
Capitals – More TV cameras to follow Ovechkin 24/7 during his journey to break goal scoring record
Hurricanes- Protein powder for Rod Brind’Amour workouts Blue Jackets- Home Depot Gift Certificate so they can do repairs on their building
Panthers- Adderall, so they have the energy to go to the Final three years in a row
Lightning- The draft picks they gave away to get Tanner Jeannot
Canadiens – Wire Cutters to cut the chords on Patrik Laine’s XBOX and Playstation
Red Wings- Sergei Fedorov jersey to hang in the rafter Maple Leafs- Bubble wrap for their goalies and a Concord jet to fly Auston Matthews back and forth to Europe
Senators- Cold water to dampen unrealistic expectations from some fans and media
Bruins – Mute button for GM Cam Neely
Sabres- A freakin WIN !!!!!
Ducks- Heated seats for the coldest arena in the NHL and 8pm starts
Kings – Italian Heritage Night
Flames- Workers to build the new building faster
Oilers- Cash, to pay McDavid
Canucks- Peace treaty between Elias Pettersson and JT Miller
Kraken- Kaapo Kakko playing up to his #2 overall pick potential
Sharks- BART passes to take the train to San Francisco their eventual new home
Golden Knights- Fake Mark Stone injury so they can put him on LTIR and load up at the deadline
Predators- Tickets for the Sphere
Jets- Playoff series win
Blues- More hangers so they can retire more numbers BlackHawks- A power forward to play with Connor Bedard Avalanche- A bag of clean pee for Val Nichushkin
Stars- Lifts for Casey DeSmith
Wild- Ring cameras to see all of Marc- Andre Fleury’s practical jokes
Utah- Odoul’s beer tap pull handles they can put on real beer kegs and fool the Mormons
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