Well, the time has come: my senior column.
I spent a long time wondering how I was going to approach this moment. What was I going to say, and how was I going to go about this? How do I make my last-ever article for Onward State as meaningful as possible? Funny enough, I kept a notes page since December of things that I might put in here. A lot of it made it.
I still remember when I published my first article. “First of many articles for Onward State,” I put on my Instagram story. And boy, there were many, from covering the College Football Playoff to a Penn State men’s hockey player’s NIL endeavors, I’ve had a blast writing over 500 (nearly 600!) stories over my four years here.
What’s funny to me is that after spending so much time telling other people’s stories, I conclude my time here by writing about my own. So, I’ll do that by blending a typical Penn State football game from last season and my college years, from the beginning to the end.
Pregame
Ah, the buildup. Hope springs eternal, right? The players arrive at the stadium. James Franklin takes his lap around the field. The players eventually make their way onto the field for the first time and begin warm-ups. Meanwhile, the stadium starts to fill up, and everyone prepares for the game to get underway. Nobody truly knows what’s about to happen, but everyone has an idea. Some people are excited, some are anxious, and some are a mix of both.
I vividly remember the process of choosing Penn State, packing almost everything I owned into a few suitcases, and moving three and a half hours from Silver Spring, Maryland, to State College in 2021. I didn’t know anyone here, and since I didn’t come from a Penn State family, I wasn’t yet indoctrinated into the “cult.” Was I excited for the new chapter? Yes. Was I anxious? You bet. Did I have a rough idea of what was going to happen? Ditto, although, like before a football game, I had to wait to see it all unfold.
First Quarter
After Zombie Nation plays and the entire stadium does its “We Are” chant, the game finally begins. Penn State takes the field against its opponent for the first time. The crowd, or stadium pulse if you will, is sky-high in Beaver Stadium. But the opposition somehow manages to put together a good drive. The Nittany Lions are adjusting to what they’re seeing. Drew Allar throws an incompletion, and the dynamic duo of Nick Singleton and Kaytron Allen gets a couple of first downs, but the offense settles for a Ryan Barker field goal.
My freshman year was pretty weird in hindsight. I lived in North Halls and had a roommate who had no desire to leave the room and take in what this amazing school has to offer. I joined Onward State as soon as I could when I got to campus, and I was eager to get my college experience underway. But, like Penn State in the first quarter, I was only getting a taste of what I’d gotten myself into.
I started off covering Penn State women’s hockey. I was so clueless that, when I wrote my first game recap, I wrote it after the game on a Google Doc, instead of during the game on WordPress like I was supposed to. I had trouble listening to feedback, and most of my story ideas were shot down. There were times when I questioned if I’d made the right choice.
But soon enough, I figured it out. My writing skills improved, and I started to make more friends. Some guy named Frankie Marzano (who ultimately became one of the most important people in my college experience) allowed me to start covering men’s hockey, too, and I spent entire weekends practically living at Pegula Ice Arena because I’d sometimes cover two series in one weekend. While most people wouldn’t like the idea of that, I couldn’t get enough. I picked up baseball in the spring, and sure enough, I’d begun to carve my place in Onward State.
Second Quarter
Penn State starts to get more of a feel for the game. Allar finds Tyler Warren for the game’s first touchdown, and Barker drills another field goal. But the opposition continues to keep up with a gutsy score of its own that somehow catches the secondary lacking. Although the Nittany Lions are the better team, there are some nerves as the half ends. They’re ahead, and things are looking good, but the second quarter was far from easy.
I won’t get into them, but various trials and tribulations made my life quite difficult during parts of my sophomore year.
But I powered through.
Writing for Onward State wasn’t just something I loved. At that point in my life, it became therapeutic for me. I wasn’t sure who I was or if I was in the right place, honestly. I thought about transferring, but obviously, I didn’t. One of the reasons I stayed was because The Blog gave me a purpose and a chance to do something I love.
I put my head down and applied myself to covering men’s hockey that fall. I focused on myself and what I felt I needed to do to be successful. While I was doing that, things around me started to change. I became more confident, more outgoing, and began to find myself even more. I began to make even more friends. Former Managing Editor Gabe Angieri hired me as an associate editor, and towards the end of the spring semester, I was selected to cover Penn State football.
Again, I wasn’t entirely sure what was going to happen, but I was so excited. A difficult school year ended on a very positive note for me in so many aspects, and I felt good going into the halftime of my college experience.
Halftime
Penn State goes into the tunnel. Some people leave their seats for a chicken basket, and the Blue Band retakes the field for its halftime show. Meanwhile, adjustments are being made in the locker room. Perhaps a speech from Dvon J-Thomas, Kobe King, or Dom DeLuca to fire up the defense? By now, though, the Nittany Lions know exactly what they’re dealing with and what they need to do to have a successful second half.
I spent the summer between my sophomore and junior year studying abroad in Brno, Czech Republic. While I was there, I learned as much about myself and grew as much as in any period in my life. I became more confident, outgoing, and left with a better understanding of the world. I completed an internship with Czech Television there, which further affirmed my love of journalism.
Traveling, especially to places that are far away and off the beaten path, is something I love doing. Shoutouts to Michael Elavsky, Adam Neubauer, Sofie Buchtova, Talia Ruighaver, Nick Chermol, and Salar Mohamadpour for being along on that ride with me.
Did I make adjustments like Penn State? Not quite, but I felt very comfortable and optimistic about the second half.
Third Quarter
Total domination. Penn State comes out guns blazing, as it holds the opponent scoreless in another outstanding third quarter. The offense picks up its pace. After Singleton and Allen propel the offense to the goal line, Allar hits Khalil Dinkins for a layup touchdown in the end zone. A Jaylen Reed interception gives the Nittany Lions prime field position, and another drive culminates with Warren running the ball into the end zone.
I’d established myself as a prominent sports writer on staff. I began covering football games alongside Joe Lister, CJ Doebler, Mikey DeAngelis, and Hailey Stutzman. Our first road trip to Illinois, which CJ referenced in his senior column on Wednesday, was the beginning of a generational run of road trips across the country over the following two years.
I was having so much fun — I got to combine my love of sports journalism and traveling into one job, which was like a dream come true. I became even better as a journalist during football season and embraced the weekly grind of being a football reporter. I loved it. And, importantly, I still got to cover men’s hockey and baseball in the spring. The hockey beat became mine to run, and I loved that.
Life for any college student changes when they turn 21, and that was the case for me. I quickly fell in love with Bill Pickle’s Tap Room, and I’m dreaming about my next $5 Busch Pitcher as I write this.
Franklin has frequently talked about how important the “middle eight” minutes of a football game can be. For my college experience, they were crucial because every part of my life got significantly better.
Fourth Quarter
By the fourth quarter, Penn State is in firm control of the game. The offense scores more, and the defense builds on its strong third-quarter performance. As the clock winds down, Allar and much of the starting crew are replaced by younger backups eager to get playing time. The crowd is in a good mood. The game ends.
It’s funny how life works. In the beginning, I was anxious about leaving the DMV and moving somewhere else for the first time. Lately, I’ve been anxious about leaving Happy Valley and Onward State. But I’ve slowly accepted that my time here is coming to an end. Although it feels like the end of a world, life will go on. I’ve tried my best to stay as present and balanced as possible this year, and to take it all in.
I’ve been having fun. I’ve got everything I want here. I’m surrounded by so many amazing people – friends, professors, family back home who always support me, and so forth. I spend my days covering games, hanging out with my friends, and going to bars. I’m fully myself in a press box. Just ask someone who’s had the misfortune of sharing one with me. It’s what I do, and it’s what I love.
When I look back on it, I’m blessed to think about the run I’ve had. Mitch Corcoran replaced Joe on the football beat. The hockey beat consisted of me, Jack Scott, Dennis Wilkins, and Alex Smith, who, in addition to the football beat members, I’m honored to call some of my closest friends.
The sports themselves were awesome. Trips to Wisconsin, Minnesota, a surprise trek to Indianapolis for the Big Ten Championship, and the Orange Bowl highlighted a historic Penn State football season that I’m honored to have covered. Men’s hockey was dead last in the Big Ten in December, but a sensational turnaround was capped off by the program’s first-ever Frozen Four appearance in St. Louis, Missouri. Although this column is mostly about football, my time on the hockey beat is just as important, if not more so, than football. So, to end my time on the beat at the Frozen Four a few weeks ago was a blessing. And, as I leave the baseball beat, I see a program headed in a great direction, guided by a man who’s just as good at coaching as he is a person. I can’t wait to see what these three teams do in the coming years.
While I’ve written plenty for Onward State, I’ve slowly become more focused on preparing the next wave of writers in the twilight of my time here to take over the football, men’s hockey, and baseball beats. I see a young corps of great people who are eager and dedicated to improving their craft, just like I was only a few years ago.
Like the football game, my time here is about done.
Postgame
The entire Penn State team lines up to sing the Alma Mater with the students. The players head off the field and into the locker room full of jubilation. The media gather in Beaver Stadium’s media room and wait for Franklin to finally give his postgame press conference. He eventually turns up and starts by thanking the media for coming out and covering Penn State football, emphasizing that he doesn’t just say it, but that he means it.
After Penn State beat Minnesota last season, which included a gutsy fake punt on fourth down, Franklin said he kept the ball because he wanted the Nittany Lions to end the game, “on our terms.”
While it hasn’t always gone my way, and it would honestly be boring if it did, my last chapter of college is indeed ending on my terms.
As graduation has loomed over the last several months, I’ve tried to put thinking about it off and be present. But I’ve witnessed the time gradually tick. The force of time is akin to few things in this universe. How inevitable it is makes it one of the most powerful forces in this world — that no matter what, all things good or bad will conclude when time says so.
This includes the good, bad, and in between of college. Contrary to that line some use, these four years aren’t the best of your life, and that’s not how it should work. For me, at least, they were transformative: I entered as a kid, and I’ll leave a man.
Now, of course, I have several Thank You’s to say. Hopefully, I remember to get everyone in here, but don’t take it personally if I didn’t mention you.
To my family: Thanks for always having my back. Whether it’s a late-night phone call with my Dad, pictures of my cats from my Mom, or sharing stories about our respective schools with Graham, I’ve enjoyed it. Although you won’t be a Nittany Lion this fall, Graham, Holy Cross got a good one in you. I don’t say this much, but I’m beyond proud of you.
To Frankie: If it wasn’t for your guidance, I genuinely don’t know how my career here would’ve turned out. You showed me the ropes and always had my back, and for that, I’m always going to be grateful.
To my fellow beat members, past and present: We all helped each other grow as writers and as people. I’ll cherish our time sharing press boxes and taking road trips together for the rest of my life. Thank you.
To Joe, CJ, Mitch, Mikey, Stutz, Jack, Alex, Dennis, Noah Flenard, Evan Halfen, Matt Brown, Cooper Cazares, Nathaniel Yerage, Alex Waterman, Max Zarbo, De E, Juice, Jamie Lynch, Ashley Connington, CJ Gill, Michael Siroty, James Russell, Aidan Conrad, Maya Thiruselvam, Kyra Birmingham, Collin Ward, Dillon Williams, Sophie Yadzinski, Oscar Orellana, and more — thanks for being in my corner. You’re all tremendous people with bright futures.
To Jeremy Goldman, Daniel Maiorana, Bailey Weaverling, Matt Gelhard, Ella Rubenstein, Andrew Destin, Joel Haas, Elliot Lindop, and Cheney Thompson: It’s been an honor, and you’ve each had great impacts on my life. I’m excited to see what the future has in store for all of you.
To Onward State: Thank you for everything. You took a kid from Maryland who’d never been here before, gave him a platform to do what he loves, and made him feel at home. OS isn’t just a place or a publication, but a group of people. I love you all.
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