
Running off at the typewriter …
Not only is FSU on pace to have its worst season in 50 years, I am declaring today that the once-proud Seminoles are now the absolute worst Power 4 team in all of college football.
That’s right, in my mind, the Seminoles (1-8) are even worse than Purdue (1-7) in the Big Ten, Mississippi State (2-7) in the SEC and Cal — the one team FSU beat this season — in the ACC. At least Cal (4-4) has three more wins than FSU and actually outgained the Seminoles by nearly 150 yards in a down-to-the-wire 14-9 loss in Tallahassee earlier this season.
In my mind, what separates the Seminoles and makes them woefully worse than the other bottom feeders in the Power 4 is that their offense is unmatched in its awfulness.
Florida State ranks 132nd out of 134 FBS teams in total offense with an average of 264.6 yards per game — 132 yards per game less than Mississippi State, 120 ypg less than Cal and 70 ypg less than Purdue. The only teams that average fewer yards per game than FSU are Group of 5 members Kent State and Kennesaw State. At 14.4 points per game, Florida State is also next-to-last in the nation in scoring offense, only slightly ahead of Air Force.
A disgruntled FSU fan texted me the other day and wanted to know why FSU head coach Mike Norvell won’t fire his offensive coordinator, and I had to gently point out that Mike Norvell essentially IS the offensive coordinator. He’s the one who calls the plays and choreographs the offense.
It’s hard to believe Norvell’s Seminoles have gone from an undefeated team last regular season to an unwatchable team this season.
In the words of the late, great Bobby Bowden: “It’s just plain ol’ bumfuzzling.” …
Short stuff: The Orlando Pride host a playoff game on Friday night and Orlando City hosts a playoff game on Saturday night. Hey, Orlando, it’s time to paint the town purple and make some noise. Two playoff games but one mission: Ignite, unite, survive and advance. … Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, the Magic’s key acquisition during the offseason, goes by initials of KCP. Before the season, I was calling him Kentavious “Championship” Pope because he was an integral part of two NBA title teams (the Lakers and the Nuggets) before signing with Orlando. However, he entered Wednesday night’s game with the Pacers hitting just 29 percent of his shots. If he doesn’t start shooting the ball better soon, the C in KCP will soon stand for “Clank!” … Jacksonville police are being accused of being “overly aggressive” when trying to remove some unruly fans from the Georgia-Florida game on Saturday. Police body-cam video shows the fans repeatedly being asked to leave and, yet, they repeatedly refuse and then try to resist arrest when the officers try to physically remove them. What are the police officers supposed to do? Sorry, but those drunk, obnoxious fans got a sobering reminder that the old 1960s song by the Bobby Fuller Four still holds true: “I fought the law, and the law won.” …
Why is it that some disgruntled fans always find something to complain about? One of the popular message-board rants after redshirt freshman Dylan Rizk lit up the scoreboard on Saturday was: “What took UCF coach Gus Malzahn so long to figure out that Rizk is the best quarterback on his roster?” Indeed, redshirt freshman Rizk became UCF’s fourth starting quarterback of the season on Saturday and completed 20-of-25 passes for 294 yards with three touchdown passes in a 56-12 rout of Arizona. Any coach will tell you that sometimes you don’t know what kind of QB you have until you put him in the game. Some QBs thrive in practice; some are gamers who shine when the lights come on. Here’s hoping Rizk continues to shine, but let’s see how he does against tougher opponents before he is anointed as the next McKenzie Milton. …
If your team hires a coach you don’t like, you still root for your team to win, right? Shouldn’t the same be true if a president is elected that you didn’t vote for? Just asking for a friend. … Did you see where Joel Embiid, who hasn’t played all season, got suspended for three games for shoving a newspaper columnist? Why did the NBA suspend him for three games? Shouldn’t the league have forced Embiid to actually play in three games? … True story: Clemson coach Dabo Swinney wasn’t allowed to cast his ballot at his local voting precinct on Tuesday. Why? I’m thinking it’s because them’s the rules in Clemson, South Carolina, where if you lose to Louisville on Saturday then you also lose your right to vote on Tuesday. … Oklahoma State coach Mike Gundy, whose team is 0-6 and dead last in the Big 12, on those fans who are criticizing him on social media: “In most cases, the people that are negative and voicing their opinion are the same ones that can’t pay their own bills. They’re not taking care of themselves. They’re not taking care of their own family. When they go to bed at night, they’re the same failure that they were before they said anything negative about anybody else.” If only Gundy’s team were as hard-hitting as his insults, then maybe the Cowboys might actually have a conference win. …
Mikey likes: UCF over Arizona State by 2 in Upset Special, Texas over Florida by 24, Notre Dame over FSU by 28, Miami over Georgia Tech by 14, Vikings over Jaguars by 6, 49ers over Bucs by 9, Dolphins over Rams by 2, Trump over Harris by one felony conviction, one insurrection, two impeachments, 21 pending lawsuits — and 5 million popular votes and 68 electoral votes. …
Last word: “The measure of a strong democracy is the ability to come together and support each other after the ballots are counted, no matter how we voted.” — Jimmy Carter
Email me at mbianchi@orlandosentinel.com. Hit me up on X (formerly Twitter) @BianchiWrites and listen to my Open Mike radio show every weekday from 6 to 9:30 a.m. on FM 96.9, AM 740 and 969TheGame.com/listen
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