Sam Kennedy is the worst of the Red Sox organization. The “he grew up with Theo Epstein!” stories having long gone stale, there’s no “there” there with Kennedy, outside of being the kind of guy Chris Cotillo can quote on Truck Day to push page views, even, and maybe especially, if they’re hate-views, which mine certainly are. Kennedy is the worst bright kid you went to high school with, the guy who said he’d grow up to run the Red Sox and you’d think, “Well I fucking hope not,” except it happened, and now we’re all screwed. Here are some of his gems from Cotillo’s story, with translation provided by Bryan AI:
On if the Sox “acted with urgency” this winter:
The approach Bres (Craig Breslow) took was one of extreme aggression, extreme urgency. That doesn’t mean you’re going to end up signing every single free agent you engage with or complete trades that you embark on. It has been great to see the aggressive approach and the sense of urgency within baseball operations to improve.
We have the ability to add, if we can match up on deals that make sense, in terms of where we stand right now. I was asked the question earlier in the offseason about the ability to spend. We were engaged in the Juan Soto negotiations. It is something we have the ability to flexible (with), but it is so player and deal-specific. We’re going to do what’s right for the Red Sox for the short-term, trying to put a team out there that’s built to win in 2025, but also what makes sense for the long term.
Translation: No, we did not act with urgency, but we made a phone call or two. Please buy a season ticket package!
It’s always a difficult line to walk, that balance. We get criticized for our messaging on that front and we understand that. It’s hard to navigate the short term and the long term. The only way to really follow up on that and have credibility and trust from our fans is to win baseball games. That’s what we need to do.
Translation: I know people are mad at me and they’re wrong but I have to say they’re right, because otherwise I mess up the money I get from my ownership share, which, I mean it’s preposterous I have one but think about how much money that is for me before you criticize? Rude.
On Alex Bregman:
I’m not allowed to talk about any specific free agent negotiations or anything,” Kennedy said, “but given that he’s unsigned, I think that speaks for itself.
Translation: I actually am able to talk about it but this is my way of saying he’s an asshole and we’re not signing him, conflicting the author of this piece, who hates both him and me.
Definitely don’t think we’re done trying to add to this complement of guys we have. Excited about who we have but also have room to continue to add. There’s confidence in this group, for sure, starting with Alex Cora and the coaching staff. But we’d like to add more. You’d always like to add more.
Translation: Don’t hold your breath.
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Kennedy’s Word Salad
- One precocious but ultimately craven young boy
- A dream to run the Red Sox
- Enough cynicism to enrage a region
Bryan’s Notes
Kennedy’s story is inspiring in some ways, provided they are the most base-level, superficial ways. “Local kid makes good” with the subhead “Takes initiative in ruining your dreams, gets rich.” Must be nice. Anyhow:
- When asked about your job, just say a bunch of bullshit that elides the truth, which is: Holy shit do you see how much money I make?!? Who cares about the Red Sox?
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